Marriage is one of the most amazing and special things that can happen to a person. Being wed to the partner of your dreams for life is an amazing feeling.
But in this day and age, there is a growing “hook-up” culture, that involves two people “hooking up”, regardless of whether or not they are in a loving relationship.
In fact, a lot of the time, the two people will be engaging in a “one-night stand”. Inevitable problems emanating from this culture include the transferring of sexually transmitted diseases (STI), and the potential for an unplanned child.
While most people will expect someone who preaches about waiting until marriage to be religious, this isn’t always the case. For ardent Christians, it is true that they encourage people to wait until they are married.
But there are many great reasons why a person should not have sex until marriage, irrespective of religion. We present them here.
1. Your Marriage will be more meaningful
There is no denying that sexual needs can be very powerful, and it is hard to not give in to temptation.
People should marry because of an emotional connection, not out of sexual needs. If two people wait until marriage, it is a clear sign that there is a strong emotional bond.
Sadly, it is common these days for a person to engage in intercourse with someone, before essentially forgetting they exist.
But by waiting, by the time you marry the person, it will be clear that they aren’t just after the other for sex, and that there is a strong emotional connection, that will make your relationship meaningful, and ultimately stronger.
2. The Biology
Sex and love are two areas with very blurred lines. It is easy to think that by having sex with someone, that you are in love with them.
The biology behind sex also contributes to this erroneous belief. Sex actually causes a false sense of intimacy – as sex leads to the release of oxytocin – which makes a person feel close to the person they are with.
But if two people are engaging in a physical relationship rather than an emotional relationship, then they could be fooled into thinking that a strong relationship has been formed that is perfect for marriage – though this isn’t always the case.
So by waiting until marriage, you will be sure of your emotional connection, and won’t be at risk of having false beliefs surrounding your relationship.
3. Sex Masks Potential Relationship Issues
A big part of relationships is the importance of compatability. After all, if you marry someone, you are committing to spending your life with them.
But when people have sex, it essentially ignores any possible problems in a relationship. You satisfy one another’s needs, but do not actually ever look deeply into your relationship.
If you aren’t having sex, the focus is on the emotional connection between two people – which will help you learn whether or not your partner is suitable for lifelong companionship.
4. Avoidance of consequences
Even when contraception is used, there is a high probability that after enough times, a person will become pregnant – usually this is unplanned.
Unfortunately, this often leads to an abortion – which is a condemnable action, and essentially punishes an innocent child for your own indiscressions. STI’s are also easily passed on, which poses another health risk.
Marriage means that if a baby is unplanned, that there will be a solid foundation to bring the child up on, and that they will be entering a loving family, rather than cruelly not making it into the world, or not having a loving mother and father.
5. Many people regret not waiting
It may surprise you, but many people actually live to regret their decision to not wait until marriage.
Many people state a feeling of guilt, being taken advantage of, or general disappointment when having sex before marriage. A sense of “not feeling right” is also common.
You can’t take your decision back. Having sex with someone you hardly know can be meaningless, by waiting – as we said earlier – it will be more meaningful. It will feel “right”.
While the old saying “you live and you learn” is important, there is no need to have the regret, by waiting, there won’t be anything to be guilty about.
Not everyone reading this will be religious, but this may still add meaning to your thoughts. For those that are religious, this is an important consideration.
The Bible doesn’t explicitly mention the words “don’t have sex before marriage”. However, “sexual immorality” is mentioned, which relates to fornication – a word that means having sex with someone you aren’t married to.
1 Thessalonians 4:3 states “for this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality”.
Many other similar verses exist. To live in a way that is consistent with God’s word is the duty of Christians, and can help your overall state of mind.
7. It really is worth waiting for
While waiting to have sex might be seen as “boring”, and can be difficult to do so in a world where sex is all around us, it really is worth waiting for!
All of the reasons put together are powerful. By waiting for marriage, you’ll have a loving and happy relationship, have mutual feelings for one another, and be in a situation where having children is a very realistic probability.
While not everyone will want to wait, there are plenty of reasons why it is a great idea to do so. It will be worth it, you will live how God intended, and a loving and long union will be assured.
Marriage truly is an incredible thing. Out of all of the billions of people out there, some people are lucky enough to find someone that they love, and are comfortable enough to spend the rest of their life with.
While pre-marital sex is common, this article has showed why it can be an excellent idea to wait. It will strengthen your relationship, and hopefully aid the happy couple for a long and prosperous relationship.