Christian Knudsen has become somewhat of a phenomenon, following his very specific morning routine going viral.
He has gained fame via LinkedIn – commonly known as being a site where brown-nosing, exaggerations, downright lies and ridiculous stories are all the norm.
Such is the intrigue around Knudsen’s morning routine, we felt it was only right to analyse and dissect each beautiful sentence, one by one.
To begin with, take a look below at Knudsen’s post in full, complete with a picture of the great man. As you will see, the post is pure poetry. Each sentence has its own dedicated paragraph, there are great adjectives, and above all else, Knudsen is a proud man. Now, let’s delve deeper.
“I wake up”
Knudsen makes a rather mundane start to the day – as he, like us mere mortals, wakes up. One may have imagined he may have risen, rather than awoke.
Many of us may have a nice stretch, potentially even check the news or social media, or gradually come to our senses – after waking up.
But not Knudsen, he instantly wakes up. There is no in-between from being fast asleep and being ready for the day ahead.
“From the fogginess of dreams, to the readiness of full consciousness”
As we detailed above, Knudsen goes straight from dreaming to full consciousness. Most people will need some time upon awaking to come to their senses, and appreciate that the morning has cometh.
But not Knudsen, he goes from dreaming to full consciousness, in the blink of an eye. It is almost like The Undertaker – from looking like he has passed out to being back in the match as he rises. In any case, Knudsen is prepared to go.
“As I have done for over fifteen years”
Knudsen is a well-oiled machine, and has followed this same routine for fifteen years. He has developed a penchant for awaking in an instant over time.
For fifteen years, he has followed this order. Does Knudsen take Sunday’s off? Not a chance. This man is a machine, and the term ‘day off’ is not part of his repertoire.
“A quick kiss to my wife’s sleep head, I proceed into my morning routine”
Knudsen is clearly not one to gradually get out of bed, he clearly seizes the day every day. But, as the loving husband that he is, Knudsen kisses his wife’s head. Iconic.
One imagines he does so in a manner that allows his wife to remain asleep, albeit still aware of Knudsen’s love. Knudsen doesn’t need appreciation, his family know he’ll work, and respect him for it.
“Glancing into my children’s rooms, somewhat envious of the sleep of youth, I proceed downstairs to the kitchen, the smell of freshly brewed coffee filling my senses”
Knudsen gracefully walks out of the master bedroom. Many a person would simply walk downstairs, but, as the loving father that Knudsen is, he checks in on his children.
He is somewhat envious of their sleep – but not fully envious. And this is because Knudsen knows his childhood is gone, and now he must make a mark on the Earth in a manner that only adults can.
After this, he proceeds down to the kitchen – where it really gets interesting. Now, as Knudsen walks downstairs, he starts to smell coffee – or gets his senses filled by freshly brewed coffee, to be precise.
But then we have the question – who prepared the coffee? Perhaps Knudsen has discovered extra-terrestrial life, and is harnessing their energy in unexpected ways. Perhaps he has perfected his routine so admirably that ten minutes before he wakes up (instantly of course), he sleepwalks downstairs to make a coffee, then returns to the fogginess of dreams. Maybe there is a servant working for Knudsen. Who knows?
“Peering out the window, the calming darkness remains, intermediate havens of light shine as beacons from my dozen backyard ambiance lights, enhancing the beauty of the winter landscape”
Now that Knudsen has made his way to the kitchen, he is able to peer out the window. What follows is pure poetry. The calming darkness remains – it is clearly early in the morning.
“Intermediate havens of light shine as beacons from my dozen backyard ambiance lights, enhancing the beauty of the winter landscape”. My goodness – where to begin.
Clearly, Knudsen has some wonderful lights in his back garden. One imagines his back garden is a thirty-acre park, made up of lush fauna, mowed grass, trees, and a small river.
There are 12 lights in total, each of which act as beacons – making intermediate havens of light. These lights do this in a way that enhances the beauty of the winter landscape. Wonderful. Just wonderful.
“Coffee in hand I head to my office”
Knudsen would love to remain peering out of his window all morning. But he can’t – he needs to proceed with this morning routine.
Therefore, he grabs his coffee, and heads to his office. From awaking to leaving, the whole process takes around 4-5 minutes. Does he shower? No. Does he need breakfast? Of course not.
Knudsen knows what he’s doing, as he calmly makes his way into the office – with his caffeine hit due to help him, not that he needs it.
“The glow of twenty-four screens erupt to life as I enter”
Knudsen makes it to the office, and upon entering, he is greeted by something akin to the Northern Lights. Twenty-four screens ‘erupt’ as he enters, each of which combine to make a glow like no other.
The office was empty before Knudsen makes it there, but we all know – he is the sort of guy that is first in to the office, and the last one out.
“Alexa automatically begins unrolling my day, highlighting my agenda – meetings, calls, activities, both personal and corporate”
Knudsen just walks on, where his personal assistant – Alexa – automatically gives him details about his day. He has an agenda, each day requires Knudsen to do all manner of things.
Alexa not only details the agenda, but also unrolls his day in a manner that means Knudsen will know exactly what time he has to do each activity. What is on his agenda you ask?
All manner of things. Each day is different – usually a smorgasbord of ‘meetings, calls’ and ‘activities’. Knudsen can’t be entirely work-work-work. No, Knudsen knows the value of a healthy work-life balance.
Therefore, he ensures that his agenda isn’t entirely corporate, it also includes personal areas. Will he call his wife during his lunch break? Not a chance – Knudsen works through lunch, and anyone who suggests otherwise is wrong. But Knudsen will find time to call his wife – usually between meetings.
Finally, we come on to the selfie that accompanies the post. Knudsen has a determined look on his face – he is ready for whatever life throws at him.
His collar is placed in a meaningful manner – and to protect his vocal cords, the top button is left undone. Knudsen is clearly in top condition. One imagines he ventures to the gym on the way back from work – to command the respect that he does, he must keep in peak physical condition.
His navy-blue suit provides perfect contrast to the light-blue hue of his shirt. His suit is perfectly tailored, wrapping round every last vestige of his body.
Anyone who views this picture is instantly in awe. This isn’t just any other person, this is a person set for the day ahead. Rumour has it that Knudsen will be one of the main contenders for People Magazine’s ‘Sexiest man of the year’ award.
It has been an enthralling journey – from waking up to being greeted by Alexa, Knudsen has perfected his morning routine.
But we must point out there are activities that other LinkedIn user’s can’t live without – a cold shower, consuming 2 litres of water, having a kale-based smoothie, and devoting 30 minutes towards meditation each morning.
But try telling Knudsen he needs to add another element to his routine. Not a chance. Christian Knudsen – we salute you.