The term “Emotional Quota” is something we hear a lot about currently. It differs to the more widely known “Intellectual Quota” – better known as IQ.
In an age where talking about our emotions is encouraged, many wonder firstly what an Emotional Quota is, how we can work out what ours is, and how it impacts our lives. We cover these points in this article.
What is Emotional Quota?
Emotional Quota is a concept developed by Dr. John Gottman in his book, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. As the name suggests, it was originally conceived as a tool to help relationships.
Emotional Quota, according to Dr. Gottman, is the idea that couples in a relationship should strive to achieve a balance between the intellectual and emotional aspects of their relationship.
The concept suggests that an ideal relationship has an equal amount of intellectual and emotional activities and interactions. This is an interesting suggestion.
What is the difference between EQ and IQ?
At its simplest, a person’s IQ refers to the intelligence quotient. It is supposedly a way to measure the intellectual ability a person has. It is often seen as a way of seeing how clever someone is – with the higher a person’s IQ, the more clever they are seen as.
Emotional Quota is often known as “emotional intelligence”. It is seen as the way in which a person manages, understands, uses and recognises their emotions. We all have an emotional quota.
Those with a high emotional quota or emotional intelligence, typically would find it easier to have interpersonal relationships. This can result in better general wellbeing. Those with a low emotional quota may be more vulnerable to mental health problems and low self-esteem.
Emotional Quota in the context of a relationship
The intellectual quota refers to the amount of intellectual stimulation and conversation that a couple has in their relationship. This could include discussing news, books, current events, politics, or any other topics of conversation that require a certain level of intelligence or knowledge.
Intellectual conversations often require a certain amount of concentration and effort to keep them interesting and engaging. As we all know through our day-to-day experiences, a person’s IQ can range significantly.
The emotional quota, on the other hand, is the amount of emotion and affection that a couple shares in their relationship. This could include expressing love, care, and appreciation for one another, as well as offering support, understanding, and validation during times of distress. Emotional exchanges often require a certain level of vulnerability and openness to share feelings and experiences.
The ideal relationship should have a balance between the intellectual and emotional quotas. This balance is referred to as the “emotional quota”. In a healthy relationship, both partners should make an effort to engage in both intellectual and emotional activities and interactions.
This allows the couple to maintain an equal amount of intellectual stimulation, as well as emotional connection, in their relationship. In theory, this should result in a happy relationship for both parties.
The average emotional quota for a couple is different for each relationship. Some couples may have a higher emotional quota, while others may have a lower emotional quota. This may depend on the individual personalities of the people in the relationship, as well as the amount of time and effort that the couple puts into their relationship.
The success of a relationship may or may not depend on emotional quota. It is difficult to tell – as the dynamics of every relationship is different.
The Takeaway
Overall, emotional quota is an important concept for couples to keep in mind when striving to maintain a healthy and balanced relationship. It is important for couples to make an effort to engage in both intellectual and emotional activities and exchanges in order to maintain a balance between the two.
This will help to ensure that each partner is receiving the stimulation and connection that they need to feel secure and fulfilled in the relationship. This will hopefully result in a strong and stable relationship.
