The vast majority of us will have at some point in our lives, gone through a traumatic experience. A break-up, a loss, a disappointment – so much can happen.
For some, having a broken heart is the biggest issue. Some of us go through the experience of heartbreak frequently, others will have the feeling only a couple of times throughout their life.
Regardless of whatever negative experience that life throws at us, in order to grow, we need to learn lessons from our shortcomings and disappointing times.
But what lessons? Crucially, we need to identify the hidden positive in every situation. While something can be terrible and seem wholly negative, there is always a positive to be found.
Letting out emotion
When something bad happens, it is easy to retreat to our room, do nothing and just distract ourselves from reality. But while this may work in the short-term, it isn’t something that works in the long-term.
So first of all – anytime that you have intense feelings, let them out. Cry if you need to. Cry as hard as you can – but just ensure that it is the first and last time you cry over this particular reason.
Have you ever been told that you “are a broken piece of heart”? Maybe you have, maybe you haven’t – either way, it is a quote that can be relevant to a range of feelings, emotions and events that we go through.
When something bad happens, sometimes we will feel completely broken – like you’re dead on the inside. Yes, you are still alive physically, but your mental well-being is not good anymore.
Everyone can feel this way through different events. Perhaps your trust in someone has backfired, a close one is not with you anymore, your family is losing faith and belief in you, loneliness or unemployment – there is so much that can go wrong.
But the way you handle these events is important. View every setback as an opportunity to advance as a person. As we show now, seek the positives in difficult events.
We mentioned heartbreak earlier – but what about when someone breaks your trust? Trusting someone more than yourself is an onerous thing to do, but we still do it. When the trust breaks, it hurts like thousands of arrows being targeted upon your body.
The Positive: Learn from who you have trusted in the past, and don’t go through the same thing again. Never compromise – you deserve better.
The End of a friendship or relationship
Or how about when a friendship ends? At first, we might say to ourselves that it isn’t a big deal – that we will easily get over this. But as time goes on, you may find it difficult. But leaving a toxic person friendship behind can be so liberating – and is ultimately for the best.
The Positive: Just think – this was simply not meant to be. You will find someone who truly loves you, and gives you the love you deserve. It will make You happier in years to come.
After all, staying with the wrong person and being in pain and mental turmoil is not worthwhile – it is better to either be alone or be with those that make you feel good, like your family.
Difficult Family Relationships
But then for some, their family aren’t supportive. It can be incredibly saddening when your own family doesn’t have faith in you, and instead of motivating and encouraging you, they only discourage you.
The Positive: If your family isn’t supportitve, remember to be a strong and powerful person. When you become successful, you will be the happy one, and your family will realise that they lost a gem by not believing in you.
Or maybe you are going through a period of loneliness. No one sees the obstacles that you are having to overcome – and no one is there to have your back.
The Positive: Enjoy your hobbies, embrace your victories, deal with the failures – there isn’t anyone to judge you. Being alone and vibing to your own beat is great. Take this as an opportunity to be happy with yourself.
Losing a job
Sometimes we can lose our jobs. Due to the Covid-19 pandemic, this is a difficult reality for many people around the world. This is clearly a very negative event.
The Positive: But take this an opportunity to say goodbye to the same every-day work, and say hello to a new beginning. Welcome new opportunities, retrain if you need, do what you can! Have faith in God.
Whatever the negative event, it can affect us in many ways – and leave us with psychological harm. But a great skill to have is to try and see the positives in everything.
First of all, it is important to put our trust in God. God has a plan for us all – and every difficult event we go through, every struggle, it is all part of God’s plan for us.
It is of course very difficult to see the positives when we are going through difficult times, but there are always lessons to be learned, and changes to be made.
We all aim to have a healthier and more fulfilling existence. Seeing the positives, learning from experiences and avoiding similar problems in the future – are all excellent skills to have.
Live your life peacefully – let go of the negatives, stay positive and be motivated. However dark the clouds are ahead, a sunny day is around the corner.
By Shiksha Jalan